Posted by: Little Miss | December 17, 2007

Even in the Tunnel, There is Light

Some of my friends have said, “There may be light at the end, but the tunnel’s a bitch.” Or words to that effect.

For some reason, I’ve never succumbed to the belief. I believe that even the tunnel can present blessings. I all depends on my attitude. Hence the reason for this blog and why I named it what I did. I’ve always felt, somewhat as Polyanna did, that even the darkest moments have something positive about them. You just have to believe it and be open to receive it. (This doesn’t negate the fact that I’m fully aware that bad things do happen to good people, even when they have good attitudes – I can’t explain that, and won’t try. I’m just explaining my experiences, with the hope that it offers peace of mind to others somehow.)

The recent turn of events with my employment status has not been a bad thing for me at all. In fact, even later that day, I heard from a colleague that the client they had me working with still wanted more work from me after the first of the year. So there’s that prospect. And the job market where I live, for what I do, is still fairly hot and I’m highly marketable. So, I’m not worried about finding employment soon – sometime in January.

What I was worried about was money – especially for this month. I was concerned that the meager amount of unemployment, along with having NO savings, and no severance would mean I’d be late on some bills. Even so, I put that worry aside for the weekend and let myself enjoy the weekend with my daughter and her kids. We played, baked cookies, and slept in as much as anyone can with an infant and a two year old in the house. I told my daughter, who was worried for me, that the money would come from somewhere – it always does. I always have what I need – maybe not what I want, but what I need.

I often surprise myself at this attitude and wonder just where I get it from. I seem to have this deep, sense of knowing – rather than belief – that I’ve always been taken care of (by life, my higher power, God, whatever you want to call it). Where does the knowing come from? I’m not sure. I try to be careful not to characterize myself as Polyanna, but when I did a little research on her, it appears she got her optimism from her father. I think I did as well.

Let me give you an example. In the early 80s, my father built a successful direct marketing business with two partners in Paris, France. He was so successful that his partners got greedy and literally locked him out. He learned of his departure one evening when he saw a letter that was left at the copy machine. Later, he was locked out of his office, and I believe – if I recall correctly – my parents were locked out of the apartment that the company was paying for. My father had a long legal battle ahead of him to get what he was owed from his partners, but meanwhile, he and my mother decided to move back to the States after ten years in Europe.

It took a while before my father found a job, and although they had some savings, it wasn’t enough. (Here’s where the facts get a bit muddled because, since it didn’t happen directly to me, this is just how I remember the story.) Somehow the bank made a duplicate deposit of an enormous sum of money – I think it was from the sale of some property they owned – into my father’s account. He was able to use this money while working with the bank to get their error fixed. He had access to this money at just the time he needed it most, and the bank fixed the error (coincidentally?) at just the time he landed a good job and the money was repaid.

And from my father’s example, I learned that things always work out. Somehow.

Today, before I even had time to start figuring out my financial situation, my youngest daughter (who lives with me) got a surprise call from her school financial aid department and they had a check there waiting for her. Yes, she has to pay this back eventually, but it’s just enough to help us through this month until more money comes in next month.

Maybe I really am a Polyanna.

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