Posted by: Little Miss | April 9, 2008

Fibro Amnesia

It’s not fibro fog I’m suffering from these days. It’s amnesia that I even have Fibro. I don’t post much on this blog simply because what I have to say is, I feel, just redundant. The same old thing over and over: I hurt, I ache, I feel betrayed, and on and on. I get bored with it. I assume you, Internet, are too.

Even so, I’m still learning how to live with it. This last weekend, I drove six hours (including a lunch stop) to the ocean with my mother, who is 88, and drove us home as well. It was an okay weekend, but stressful even outside of the extensive driving. I should not be doing so much driving. Two car accidents last year on top of my fibro have exacerbated my degenerative disc disease and make it painful to stand and walk upright if I’ve been sitting for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

So what do I do when I get home? Even though a flare is already starting – it usually takes a day or two to really hit – I decide that I must relieve some of my frustrations by doing a complete house cleanup. Yesterday I worked on the upstairs, cleaning my bedroom, my office, doing all the laundry, and cleaning (mopping)the upstairs hardwood floors. Today, I woke up at 6:30, continued by sorting through paperwork in my office, digging through file boxes in the garage, bringing files upstairs, going grocery shopping, and then helping my daughter clean the couches, and then I cleaned (mopped) the hardwood floors downstairs. And cooked all my own meals.

By about a couple hours ago, I could barely walk. My entire body stiffened up and became extremely sore, and I had to call my daughter to come back home to take care of the dogs because I need to go to bed. I tried a nice hot bath in Epsom salts, and that helped, but as soon as I was done with dinner, I started to fall asleep.

When will I learn to pace myself? When will I learn that I need to find different ways to deal with my frustrations rather than going on a marathon housecleaning spree? When will I remember that I have fibro and it WILL catch up with me. I cannot outrun or outwork it. Damn.

Photo by Petr Kurecka (stock.xchng)

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Responses

  1. Boy do I ever identify with your story. I just came through a period of “running on empty” and causing a fibromyalgia flare-up. http://thistimethisspace.com/2008/04/10/relationships-fill-yourself-up-first/
    Forgive yourself, coddle yourself and start all over again by filling yourself up.
    Best wishes


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