Posted by: Little Miss | May 26, 2008

Fibro says: I’m still here…

There’s a saying that people in recovery from addictions have: “While you’re in recovery, your disease is out there doing push-ups.” Or words to that effect. I think that fibromyalgia is exactly the same.

I’ve been spending the last six weeks not flare-free by any means but focused on trying to minimize my flare-ups or ignoring them altogether. I find that the more I ignore my fibro, the more it acts like a petulant three-year old child and stomps its feet demanding acknowledgement.

Tonight I also realized that I have a new fibro symptom surfacing: nausea. I did far too much today. Actually, I’ve done far too much lately, period. I’ve been pushing myself through low grade flares thinking it will all just go away. Hoping it will all just go away. But it doesn’t.

Today I helped my neighbors with some yard work and I really shouldn’t have at all. A couple days ago, I had snapped my neck and stressed my body when a bookshelf almost collapsed on me. I was already hurting from that, and then I added to it by trimming some hedges, moving paver bricks, raking and digging, and planting a couple plants in a new flower bed.

When will I learn to just stop?

So, tonight, I’m experiencing a huge flare-up, insomnia, chest pain, and horrible nausea.  I want to sleep but the nausea is keeping me awake. How horrible is that?

And it seems that while I’ve been ignoring Fibro and forcing myself to be more active, it’s been gaining strength from my exercises. Crap.

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Responses

  1. sending hugs your way. curl up with a good book, or some bad Lifetime movies….just take a day off to rest….

    teri

  2. I find that I have gone in and out of denial of the severity of my Fibro for 20 years. Some of my denial allowed me to work even when I felt awful. Some of my denial has been self destructive. I have also overdone things that cause greater pain and illness.
    In the last five years I have been extraordinarily ill and have had to stop working, at just about everything. Even self-care. When I surrender to the inevitable I become more self loving and take better care of my symptoms.
    The next loss, after so many so far, is giving up two of my cats. I’ve given up dogs, good hair days, ironed clothes, and at times my sense of humor.
    I just figure it is all about learning: how stubborn I am, how loneliness can end up as peaceful, vanity as an unworkable lifestyle, and how long I really can go without taking a bath before one of my cats marks my dirty pajamas. Making the point that enough is enough! Really, he did that. So I have also learned to throw pajamas away. ^_^
    Another day, another opportunity to learn something new. Even so I pray for a plateau in my learning curve.
    It was good to hear your struggle. Sometimes these blogs become unbearably chirpy. And even though I have a good attitude and I practice many w/holy healthy alternatives I don’t feel connected to the relentless and forced meme, *just smile through the nightmare*.
    Blessings to you.


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